Undiscovered Moments

Money or Beliefs (Lyrics)

2008-12-08T15:26:00.002-06:00

Somehow ended up on the wrong side
when I sought to take care of things.
Came to find an ends to meet with.
Found my life's been lacking
all that makes yours right.

Somehow ended up on your wrong side
when I started working my new job.
Came to see that loves not the start.
Found your heart too slow to move.
It all comes down to recurring
weakness.

Below You

2008-12-02T16:26:00.002-06:00

Taken out from under,
pulled aside with love,
you've not taken me for granted,
but sunk my body into sand.
No appology can mend,
save for two bottles of
the cheapest gin,
the slowness you've caused my heart.

Reality is Weak (Poem)

2008-10-24T15:32:00.003-05:00

Those are years you're counting now.
The span of so many days...
One year ago I moved our rock,
afraid of what I might have said.
I went to the shore
to find a dying starfish.
Not as soft as you think.
Stoney and rough,
his legs didn't catch the sun.
I don't sing a song
for things past dead.
But I felt like bothering this.

Falling Short (Poem)

2008-10-17T11:20:00.004-05:00

Can't say I'm ever fighting,
always dying for the word,
coming down hard as snow,
reaching out in blindness.
The plastic people
eat from paper plates.
It's income disposable,
and throw-away friends.
Everyone just wants
a safe place to sleep.
Suburbs aren't affordable.
It's a pricey condo in
a nice neighborhood,
a downtown dumpster
in a shitty alley.
Money only buys you
more short-comings.
And those will always
bring you home.

Relational Entirety (Lyrics)

2008-10-09T14:36:00.004-05:00

I can't afford this traffic jam
and all the fees it has incurred.
I can't afford to lose something
not yet accomplished.
There's things I haven't washed
in longer than a year.
There are lies left untold
because I've grown out of fears.
We're talking about shades of grey
that don't exist for normal folks.
Hypothetical love affairs...
we'll both miss out.
One good thing's left of this mess:
Still can't say "I love you"
with my face on straight.
I'll take a drink tonight in three,
just to take the edge off your glare
'cause I can't look in your direction
despite your lovely face.
The lies that melt in your mouth,
like homemade cotton candy,
leave scars across my chest
in every new direction.
I still smile when I say it.
I still mean what I say.
We're still worth every kiss,
and love should always come first.

Debts Unplanned (Poem)

2008-10-09T12:37:00.003-05:00

Tonight as I come out of the E.R.
I was gonna run to your arms,
If I hadn't died in that transfer.
Don't be angry.
It wasn't planned this way.
There was no grand design at play.
You believe in what you're told,
and I'm telling you I won't grow old.
And yes I have a soul.
But it's not what has to happen
that dictates when we're saddened.
It's mortality and accidents.

Don't Feel the Cold (Poem)

2008-10-02T15:21:00.002-05:00

You know this jacket's just for show
'cause I can't feel the icy glare
your eyes cast around so easily
after all you've put us through.

Since Yesterday (Lyrics)

2008-09-17T09:36:00.003-05:00

I brush my hand
on your sleeping shoulder.
Blankets move
and Love awakes.
Slow motion takes over
and it's like a
perfect movie moment.
But short-term memories
are never quite
what they used to be.
You're not really here.
You're in another state.
A thousand miles away
probably chasing out
some cash.
I miss you since yesterday.

Light Disorders (Lyrics)

2008-09-17T09:26:00.002-05:00

Creeping over the edge
each morning with the sunlight.
Seeping into every crack
never failing to light your day.
It's a thirst that's never quenched
so I keep my drinking all the while.
When I think it's gone away...

A slap in the face
from a silver tray.
It takes hold and runs.
Heartbeat.
Breathe.
Spin, spin, spin and run.

Falling out of bed
I keep thinking this ends today.
Can't finish what you start
when the devil's always in the way.
The logic's not around
during bouts of sweat and chills.
Right before I leave...

A slap in the face
from a silver tray.
It takes hold and runs.
Heartbeat.
Breathe.
Spin, spin, spin and run.

I'm Not Playing This Game (Lyrics)

2008-09-10T12:58:00.010-05:00

Decisions are in.

Anxiety's up.

A heartbeat's for fools.

I'm not making excuses

for talk I don't own.

Believe anyone.

Holding the knives,

the gossip queen,

drama king,

friends when time was new,

they have your vision.

Lend an ear?

No, given away.

Paid off for lies.

Traded in poor faith.

I'm not making excuses

for talk I don't own.

Don't talk to me.

Go to your sources,

your trusted bros.

They know me

better than you.

A full 5 months,

3 dog years, right?

Yeah, they know

the things I really mean,

that I have no

good intentions.

Spiteful bitch.

Manipulative.

I'm filling the machine.

Coating candies

with sweet lies.

I'm not making excuses

for talk I don't own.

I don't care what they say,

but I'm cut

by how easily

you believe.

Paranoia's slick.

Your friends will tell you:

Watch out for girls,

especially your own,

whoever she is.

I'm not making excuses

for talk I don't own.

Tired of prying,

at what someone else's said.

You're mad but

I'm not making excuses

for talk I don't own.

Running Out the Lines (Poem)

2008-09-04T09:00:00.006-05:00

I think I'm sick of this corporate old,
maybe I've gotta stop doing what I'm told.
Predictability is on the rise
so I got my hands on some pesticide,
ready to take things into my own hands.
Gonna make a scene burning these suit pants.

I'm dying my hair and painting my nails.
I'm changing my clothes and lifting these pails.
About to give up on making my rent,
give up my dog, look into buying a tent.
Freedom's not a game you play by someone else's rules.
You can shake your head while calling me the fool.

Nervous Girl (Poem)

2008-09-03T08:41:00.004-05:00

My embarrassment drops
to the pavement,
explodes in every new direction.
The pieces catch
in the early morning sun.
They'll stay there
on the street all day long.
My heart quickens,
stomach churns,
and dread wells up inside of me.
It seeps out my nose
mouth and eyes,
the tips of my fingers.
My every movement betrays.

This is the Day I Die (I Work For Corporate America) (Poem)

2008-09-02T08:16:00.006-05:00

Silence speaks my name,
calls out for my surrender.
Life slips between these cracks.
Skies are black and blue,
bruised by storm clouds
who've been rallied by the wind.
This world swallowed the sun.
Here is my end of days,
where this secret burns
inside my darkened heart.
It's brightness is not what's good,
the mark of all that's wrong.
Will I save the world this way?
Walking the pavement
of downtown a.m.
Where every face is blank,
every life, somewhere else.
I slip between them like a ghost,
they don't even notice.
Faces float through the streets
on bodies that I can't see.
I'm in a place between worlds,
a self-induced trance?
It's an overwhelming sadness
that I can't explain.
No fear has found me yet,
no wrath has claimed my heart.
This secret burns the brightest
outside square office buildings.
Pavement opens up below
and pulls my ankles down.
I reach for help, the faces pass.
A dirty beard.
Broken nails.
The homeless look for me.
I'm not pulled out,
I keep falling down.
"Those who lose their way can't stay"
His face burns into the black
and we float towards another day,
another form of incomplete.
My world was never real.
It was never fake.
Real to me but no one else,
fake to them but not myself.
Burning brightness in the void,
the secret of love unfolds,
its fury flowing through me.
My world's consumed by day-lit night.
I work for Corporate America.
I'm already dead.

I Don't Want to Remember You (Poem)

2008-08-29T11:15:00.004-05:00

Someday when you feel right
I'll sit down and we can talk
and you can get up and walk away.
It's not what I was gonna say
that makes your mood begin to rot.
It's honesty that gets your feet to moving,
like you've been put on the spot
even though there's nothing now
that you need to prove.
You can drop me off at the exit here.
It doesn't matter what comes next,
I don't plan to let you in again.
A one-way ticket's all I need.
Let me forget you didn't budge.
I don't want these memories of our love.

An Evening With Mae (Lyrics)

2008-08-19T15:22:00.005-05:00

The things you say are
nothing like what you
say you mean.
We're all supposed to believe
you planned to live
this underpriviledged life.

I'll tell you everything I see
in this shitty cup
of your best black coffee:

...But I guess you already know everything
I'm ever
gonna say...
about your growing plants,
your paper bills,
cheddar cheese, and prozak pills.

You can end it here
before I key your hood
of that piece of shit
you claim not to live in.

Paper Pamphlets (Lyrics)

2008-08-13T16:25:00.005-05:00

Is that you
staring me down
in the back alleyway?

Is that you
coming round the
corner of the store door?

Was it you
who took my heart
and left it lonely
on the sidewalk...

Like a God-fearing
pamphlet.
Like spiritual
propaganda.

Is it you
who's lost her faith
in what they called
our love?

Took A Chance (Lyrics)

2008-08-12T08:23:00.005-05:00

I saw you in the viewing room
of my girlfriend's
summer home.
She said you liked
tomatoes,
but only while they're red.
You caught my eye with
heartstrings pulling tight.

Me I'm just a gamble,
a bet you'd like to win.
Maybe here I'll stay,
maybe it's the way.

You met me at an age
when I was more than
just naive.
Older than a tree,
but trees have
imortality.
The way you say your mind
all the time...

Me I'm just a gamble,
a bet you cannot win.
This is where I'll stay.
In the way.

There's a girl who says
a tulip's not a flower nor a
ventricle a heart.
We've argued over coffee
and picked each other clean.
Ripping skin from bone
like fried chicken
from a plate.

Me I was a gamble,
now a debt you've gotta pay.
This is where I stay.
In your way.

This is where I stay.
In your way.

Counting Days (Poem)

2008-08-11T16:19:00.003-05:00

Sounds of home...
electric fences,
summer breezes.
Where are they now?
telephone wires,
carwash flyers...
Grass grows in the cracks
between every piece
of cement,
in the city where drugs are free
and liberty costs more
money.

Final Decision (Poem)

2008-07-29T10:52:00.003-05:00

From all the trees drop
leaves of somber tears
of light-colored rain
and fresh scents of fear.

Committed to fall
from the tall buildings
built on stones from love's
final re-fueling.

Good Intentions (Poem)

2008-07-24T09:40:00.002-05:00

teapot:
black and elegant,
iron and sturdy,
always there for me.
handle hot
ready to sear.
I protect my skin
with cloth for when I want to lift it.
Pour some tea,
have a sip.
Burnt my tongue instead of lip.

Free to Fuck With Me (Poem)

2008-07-24T09:26:00.003-05:00

No one....
hurts me like you do.
No one else....
causes so much pain.
My only one....
that's you, my love.

Jerk me left to right.
Throw me up and down.
Tell me different
every day.
Tell me things to make me fall.
....things to pick me up.
Go back on spoken word.
Fall through on plans you've made.
Be there when you're not needed.
Be there when you
feel like staying.

You don't love me.
You don't know what to do with me.
And I don't know how to go without.
Just keep pissing on me.
It's always something
I've done wrong.
You're never who's at fault.
I'm not out to get you,
I just want to feel loved too.

Back and Forth, Sober and Drunk (Lyrics)

2008-07-24T09:01:00.003-05:00

a friend
a lover
loyal and true
"I always want to be with you"
sober and alert
a mind made up.

a mind
fucked up
"leave me alone"
"I'm not worth the love you give me"
drunk and in a stupor
"you can't trust me."

just leave
just please
leave me tonight
I don't want to fight anymore
tell me you're done with me
don't wait to see.

baby
you say
"I love you too"
"I love you every day"
"Girl, you're my only one"
forget last night.

God Once Stole A Love From Me (Poem)

2008-07-24T08:47:00.003-05:00

She's got eyes like broken blue glass
and in them a pain that seems to last,
but she's got talent like a black belt
and a heart as sharp as felt.
A love I couldn't keep
she left for out of state.
I thought she might come back again
but she stayed in Connecticut.
I used to write her letters
I used to think I was better
than what she said I was.
She told me she left because
I couldn't trust in God.

Bitch Burning (Poem)

2008-07-23T13:01:00.005-05:00

You've got me cornered and alone.
No one can touch you on your throne.
All our friends will take up your cause
and leave me frozen without pause.
Their loyalty's been sworn to you
even after all we've been through.
I'm searching the room for a shining knight
but all I find is our most recent fight.
Everyone sees the light on your side,
and I'm the one too full of pride.
Convinced your cause is true and noble,
you break me down and watch me fumble
with my words through all my tears,
while you accentuate my fears.
You've been cruel to me and don't deserve
the love I've given that's not returned.
Will I turn and walk out the doors?
Will I stay and beg you from the floor?
Do I choose freedom and isolation?
Do I choose to stay in trepidation?
Here standing in your court
I've not much happiness in report.
But you're the only thing I've got,
All your friends and the things I'm not.
I've got nowhere else to turn
So light me up and watch me burn.

So Speak Outside the Riddles (Poem)

2008-07-22T15:11:00.002-05:00

I'm tired of silent temper tantrums
based on the phases of the moon.
This stepping on amendments
has me filling up my glass with rum.
I get the feeling you think my freedom's worthless
'cause it's all about your insecurities.
I'm far past being sorry to impress,
just say when you're ready to be free of me.

At least I'm honest,

the same can't be said of you.

I say call your anger back from protest
look me in the face and tell me why so red and blue,
why you've quietly brushed my hand away.
Why do you let your anger stew?
You think you want to make me pay.
Pay for what? I'll pull my pockets inside out,
show there's nothing else to give,
all your problems are due to doubt.

These aren't my issues we need to talk about.